Shinda Shima.

I have this feeling, sensation.... a kind of hunger in my stomach, which disables me from sleeping, and relating .I ponder into the midst of yesterday, and look at the myself, I see myself from a third person, catching a glimpse at myself as I type from the corner of my room, as if I was a visitor, a friend. I look, feel, am so different.. more aware, awake... which brings me a lot of joy, a lot of wisdom, a lot of insight, but also a lot of questions, and a lot of distraught, because I can clearly see now, every little particle of this life, this dimension, this reality. Sometimes I think, I close my eyes, and I dream, as I am awake.... and I go into this realm in my head, where I collect my thoughts, I gather them with my hands, and I think: Which is the ‘real’ reality, the reality in my head, or the reality that I find so hard to live and participate in? The real world seems so empty, full of false hopes and mystical illusions of peace, full of injustice, hypocrisy, full of void, a sheep heard, a nation full of rats, ants, animals, out to get each other. Trying prove themselves to each other to see who’s better, more successful, thinner, richer, who fucks better, and the list goes on; you know what I mean? And ever since I was a child I could see that, the rivalry between souls, and I never wanted to be a part of it, and now as an adult, I can’t get away from it. It’s the american dream man, I don’t want it, I don’t want a big house, I don’t want 10 children, a husband that is so rich and powerful that he probably won’t make love to me because he’s so tired and his ego doesn’t let him get an erection, fuck that man... I want to be free, I want to create, I want to fuse with the energy, connect with my inner self... keep my third eye open, roam around the whole world, learn from it, from the trees. from mother mature, from life... Because this life is only temporary, and we are only passengers, here today; gone tomorrow, why not make it a good time?.... and learn something while you’re at it.. learn to love, learn to live... and learn to let go.. Namaste☮

Ayer.....

BONJOUR..., I encounter so many emotions. I can't contain my hunger, this anticipation, this urge to devour all my desires. I am one of many words and ambitions, but I am in utter loss when I cannot decipher "why" the intriguing itch, that mystery and madness that has found me. Each day I walk further amongst this sea of slumber that I had not visited since many dreams ago. This familiar scent, the memory of yesterday. Awakening my recollection, making my body fuse with all the emotions I had left behind. I remember it quite vividly, I remember the scent of my bed, that morning, that smile, laying next to your nude, soft body, I remember the taste of your lips, devouring them. How did I get back into that particle of time, I wasn't there just now,. how?... I long for myself, a couple of pages ago. The vulnerability I possessed, the ability to differentiate a fantasy from reality. Feeling intact and alive. Tomorrow will be another dream, time to wake up. au revoir.

TELEVATORS

How does one define an emotion. Is it by instinct, feeling, impulse, or is it just an idea? I often find myself in that paradox, is an emotion in fact something real, or is it just an empty idea in hope of something to fill our void. What is real, what is real? WHAT IS REAL? is it illusion....I'm restless, insane and young. All I want is to love, fuse, dance and to run free. Why is everyone afraid of themselves, render to your dreams and desires, LIVE out loud! Strip your thoughts down, magnify your ambitions, lose yourself to find yourself, everyone in this party is mad.